Poem 126- Thank you

Thank you

This afternoon we talked of all the reasons why my abnormality defines me.

We made progress, we understood each other better… then we didn’t

We reclined in to a comfortable place where I thought I could predict your words.

And those words were there mainly to tell you how to behave, how to deconstruct the us that has been perpetuated since 1994 and 1999.

A postdated tribute of comprehension and change, to the life we lead and the fallout and shrapnel of glass and nails it left in its wake.

The time past, stuck in that cramped, non air-conditioned conversation. Passing through all the great topics of religion, sex, death and your mother and her machatainister.

The label on the tin changed, the phone call re-directed by the operator.

I am not angry that we chatted about me, or that or opinions differ- we have been friends since I needed to thank you.

I am not upset at your ability to express yourself so clearly in and language not your own.

I am shocked at how quickly the point changed and how I had to carry the weight of the bitterness and insecurity you imparted- accidentally

As I try to believe in my choices you undermine them with your valid reasoning and mirror image feelings.

And I feel sad and sorry and ashamed by us and them and him and her and all of them related and unrelated to you and me.

I am sure even after this break from reality things will be fine but I will be confused for a little while… I hope you don’t mind.