Poem 149- I have to sleep in the day

I have to sleep in the day

I have to sleep in the day for in the night

My daily responsibility preys too heavily on my mind

I have to sleep in the day for in the night

My body cannot fight control after hours of

Controlling the madness in that room

I have to sleep in the day for in the night

My battery will not recharge, faulty as purchased for 4 pounds from Japan via Ebay

I have to sleep in the day for in the night

My breath will not slow to stillness unless I unstick the players from their backing and I consume my head in the action of sliding my nail between the leaves

I have to sleep in the day for in the night

The shadows on my balcony induce the fear my inner child harbours about burglars and terrorists

I have to sleep in the day for in the night

The discomfort of your sofa is better than the release of the tension in my back 

I have to sleep in the day for in the night

I forget my World Cup is over and triumphant as there is always more to be done

I have to sleep in the day for in the night

I remember I will have to transport myself in a vehicle I was only recently granted the privilege to use

I have to sleep in the day for in the night

I am too distracted by technology and its bright light to switch off my mind long enough to succumb

I have to sleep in the day unless you are there to allay and assuage, to provide the envelopes, to envelope, to protect, to distract and to love.

Poem 148- Nights of Poems

Nights of Poems

I have been busy and happy I say.

When school dies down or

You know, we have a fight or something.

Happiness is not the best inspiration for poetry, that

Requires deeper feeling and sentiment that others can

Feel.

When I get a chance I say, when I don’t have

A headache, when the root canal is done,

When my brake pads are fixed, when my heart 

Feels cracked I’ll get a chance to write something down.

Go on a bus like I used to

For an idea at prose, a chance to think quietly in the

Noise of others.

How is it then that with a heart full of love and week of work ahead,

I can be so fixated on the joy we share and the serenity in my soul and

Yet able to articulate my fully formed, healthy heart to say thank you for

Giving me a moment and an invitation to be myself and the nights to write

As you breathe next to me providing the peaceful noise of others I always needed to compose.

Poem 147- Sometimes, when I think about it.

Sometimes, when I think about it.

Sometimes when I think about it, about the amazing shock and sadness you must have felt I could break in to pieces. I could lie down on the floor, I could scream and cry.

I could breathe deeper hoping to know what it must have been like. There are things missing in my life, things I have chosen to waste and burn. But the lack of choosing is what sets this pain apart.

Sometimes when I think about it I could hold you for days, I could break away knowing I will never understand. Sometimes I cry just knowing how sad it is I will never get to know a part of you so important that it lives in your skin and your heart and your eyelashes every day.

Sometimes when I think about it and all the things you had to undertake I don’t know how you survived, how you lived in other worlds, how you returned to the same place, how you breathed in the same air.

Sometimes when I think about it and you are there I have no ability, no words, no arms and no way to console even the tiniest part of you that cries out for something different.

Sometimes when I think about it I know I have missed out on something so special and I know your happiness must have been lost, down a well that has no bucket to pull back up.

But sometimes I hope I will be able to help you refill any hope, security and love in any way that I can.

And always I think with my best effort I might be able to achieve it.